Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Why I decided to "quit" social media as a Beachbody Coach

First things first, I am still a Beachbody coach.  I still love and believe in their message of keeping people home with their families, supporting charities that keep kids in warm homes, and helping families to get healthy in a safe and non-obsessive way.  I believe in the products that help people safely lose weight, balance their nutrition, and get stronger in a way that doesn't involved typical "dieting," but whole-food based methods that provide fresh recipes and alternatives for the entire family.  The workouts aren't obsessive.  They don't take over your life.  They're something meant to be squeezed into your busy day of being a mom, working outside the home, running a business, having multiple little ones running around, etc.  So I am still a coach and I still love and support Beachbody.

I stepped away from social media as a Beachbody Coach because I am a fixer.  I am someone who cannot say no.  When I see someone who needs help, I can't walk away.  Now, don't get me wrong--there were many people who came to me who just needed a friend or someone to talk to and I loved every minute of getting to know new people and learning about the vast array of lives we all come from.  But there were many people who looked to me as someone who was "healthy and stable" and thus they needed me to "fix" their problems.  This didn't mean, "Hey, I fell of the wagon and I really need help planning my meals and setting a schedule that works for me."  This didn't mean, "I am struggling today and I just need to talk."  This didn't mean, "Hey, what's up?"

I literally had two people contact me mid suicide attempt, asking me to "fix this."  I had someone talk to me for 45 minutes, mid-psychotic break, to the point that I was fearful for my own safety and had to block them and report them.  I had people fake kidnapping scenarios and contact me to save them, and turns out they just wanted money for drug deals.  I had a customer die of an overdose.

And having a friends list of nearly 1500 people, my FB page was filled with drugs, custody disputes, fights, illicit behavior, obscene images, mostly from people I'd never heard of.  It became incredibly stressful to check in and talk to real customers, wading through the deluge of drama that went on all over Facebook.

It's so hard for me to step away from these situations because I love my family, I love our safe home, I love that we are bound to our faith and our goals, and that we don't live a life painted with these struggles that seem to haunt so many people.  And so I want to step in when someone comes to me for help and give them advice, talk them through their struggles, and hope to see them a happier, healthier person at the other end.

But inevitably that won't happen.  I am not a clinical psychologist.  I am not a psychotherapist.  I am not a social worker.  And maybe I'd be a good one.  But I have a degree in classical history!  I am qualified for nothing in the field of mental health and social struggles.  And try as I might, I would take on these struggles long after closing my laptop, and carry them with me.  And that was never my intent as a Beachbody Coach.

My job as a Beachbody Coach is to provide willing clients with plans for their life that will, with hope, lead them down a healthier road.  This means working out, planning healthy, fresh meals, drinking more water, drinking Shakeology for breakfast, checking in for accountability, participating in healthy communities both locally and online, etc.  As a coach I am here for my clients to encourage them, motivate them, and provide them with the tools they need to move forward with their lives in a healthy way.  I would love to never need to make a penny and just help people get healthy, but this is also my job.  This provides for my family and allows me to stay at home with my kids and stay healthy.

I found myself spending hours talking with people, "solving" problems, being a sounding board, and no one with the intent of helping my family stay afloat or stay healthy.  So many people wanted me to be their "quick fix" but didn't want to help my business in return; they just wanted the "coach" without the program.  And I was willing for so long, but day after day of incredible struggles and problems being stacked on top of me just became too much.  And with a new little one on the way I had to turn everything off and just pray--pray for clarity as to what the heck I'm supposed to be doing as a coach, for my family, and moving forward.

And it became clear to me that God wanted me to just unplug.  It is my job to help people get healthy, but if their intent isn't to be healthy and is to be a weight on me and my family, then I need to step away and do what's best for me, my husband, and our children.  And that's what I chose to do this week, is to step away from social media and minimize my friends lists, in hopes of clarifying my role as a Beachbody coach and doing what I came here to do--provide for my family in a healthy, peaceful, joyful manner.

So I am still a Beachbody Coach, and I am still here to help those who want the tools to get healthy and start fresh.  But I'm practicing what I preach and keeping God as my filter and the head of my family, and shutting off Instagram, deleting Twitter, and minimizing my time on FB.  My notifications are turned off, and I'm spending peaceful happy days with my kiddos at the park.  I'm still here for check-ins, and I love everyone who's trying so hard to change, but I may be a tad quieter and slow at responses in the meantime.

I love you all and appreciate your support.  XOXOXOXOXOXO